Having a one night stand that wasn’t planned can leave you feeling guilty and confused. People usually plan one night stands for reasons ranging from an act of fantasy to filling a void after an ugly breakup. In these cases, the partners involved usually don’t have any expectations of a relationship afterwards, but this may not be the case for the partners in an unintended one nightstand.
This article is like a guide to help you handle the aftermath of an unintended one night stand regardless of whether you feel guilty or want more.
Drop the Shame Game
You met a super gorgeous and interesting man at a party. You two engage in an interesting conversation. The way the conversation went, one would think you’ve known each other for a while. You feel the sexual attraction as the conversation progresses. You leave the party and one thing leads to another and you guys end up having passionate sex. He leaves and you wake up with deep guilt and remorse. What do you do?
The first thing you should do is to drop the shame game. For a very long time, society has labelled a woman’s sexual indiscretions as shameful, while the man’s as boastful. Women shouldn’t accept this double standard any more. Women have needs too and they’re not inferior to the men.
They deserve to satisfy their need for sexual pleasure as much as the man. Men should stop slut-shaming women, they participated in the act too. They should learn to take responsibility.
Assess the Situation
A flood of emotions usually come after the unintended one nightstand. If you’re overwhelmed with guilt, you should ask yourself why. Did you get caught up the moment? Where you drunk? Or where you trying to fill a void?
Finding out what sponsored this action will inform your decision as to whether you’d want to indulge in the act again. Some might find it thrilling and would want to continue others might hate themselves for it and avoid a reoccurrence. What’s important here is that you’re in control of your choices and can understand the risks involved in indulging in one night stands
You Want More, But He Doesn’t
There’s a high chance that he may reject your advances, after the unintended one nightstand. But do you push hard if he’s not responding positively? You shouldn’t throw your self-respect to the wind. The only thing you need to do is call the girls and have a truckload of fun.
Even if you slept with your best friend, the aforementioned still applies. Vow to yourself never to bring it up again and keep to vow. Do not allow this to ruin your friendship. He probably feels the same way too. His friendship with you means more to him than some casual one nightstand.
He Wants More, But You Don’t
He keeps calling and texting, but you’re not willing to talk to him or face him yet. Don’t ignore his calls or text messages. Reply to him but be brief, direct and honest. You may be feeling that you’ve hurt his emotions, do not apologise. You have no reason to apologise. Just let him understand what you want without being rude. If he keeps pestering you, you’re free to block him.
This may be a friendship you’re not willing to lose, but your best friend wants more than you’re willing to give. Giving him the hard facts can be awkward but you have to let him know that you want to remain friends and nothing more. You’d have to tell him to forget about the encounter.
One thing you should realise is that all of this could be overwhelming for him and he may not be comfortable continuing the friendship. You should understand that he probably had feelings for you before the one nightstand. Just give him time and you two could revert to being just friends again.
It Turns Into An Unintended Relationship
Yeah! This is a possibility. The unintended one night stand can metamorphose into a beautiful relationship. You probably shouldn’t count on this but you shouldn’t discard the possibility of it happening either.
This situation could be a bit complicated if it’s your best friend. You need to know if the encounter brought out suppressed feelings or did it ignite something you both never realised before.
Whatever the case, you’d need to tread softly because if the relationship doesn’t work out, you both would have to say goodbye to your friend.
What are your thoughts?
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