Its 2020, but some of the outdated rules regarding sex and dating still hold much ground: ‘Giving up the cookie on the first date makes you easy and cheap’, ‘you should make him wait till date number 5 at least’, ‘you should make him work for it’, ‘make him earn it’.
These and many more, are rules the society has crafted overtime for the supposed chastity of a woman. More like a mould she has to fit into, to tame her sexuality. Going against these laid down rules will attract some sought of stigma – ‘Oh! She’s cheap and easy’.
The stigmas about sex and sexuality can be persistent, especially for the ladies, and we all know this. These rules have been in existence way before we were born, virginity was a substitute for morality and purity.
It was probably all part of a misogynistic ploy to suppress female sexuality. This is the reason why men aren’t slut-shamed but women are, for indulging in the same act. Remember the adulterer that was brought to Jesus to be stoned in the Bible. Ever wondered why they left the man alone?
If you’re thinking whether having sex on the first date would make you cheap, don’t. I’m not telling you to go screw around, please don’t get me wrong.
If after a long night (or whatever time of the day the date happened), you feel strong chemistry, go for it. Do what you think is right for you, don’t be constrained by what the society thinks or feels.
Do what you think is right for you, don’t be constrained by what the society thinks or feels.
Sometimes, exploring sexual compatibility from the onset could go a long way in determining if you would want to be in a relationship with this person.
If you decide to indulge in sex on the first date, it should not affect your eligibility as a potential partner or make you cheap. A lot of couples officially become an item after they did it, so having sex on the first date shouldn’t be an issue if you two have connected on some level and the consent is mutual.
WARNING: Before you start, be super clear on what it is you’re looking for; a relationship or casual sex. This will help you to make informed choices.
Here are a few opinions from different people:
“Sex on the first date implies that it wasn’t a date at all but rather the fulfilment of a yearning. Mostly on the woman’s part because a player will always steal a home base if there are no visible obstructions. You can only feel cheap if you want to and possibly expect to have a serious relationship with that person after.”
Anonymous“…If you are trying to build a relationship with a person and you have sex on the first date you are starting off on the wrong foot. A relationship shouldn’t be based on sex because it will never last long term, a relationship should begin with building friendship, communication, and definitely trust in order to achieve not only a great relationship but great sex.”
Anonymous If you’re looking at going into a serious relationship with this guy, you might want to consider waiting till it is right. But if you’re all about casual sex, then you can do what you feel is right, without the fear of being tagged ‘cheap’
“…if you slept together after just going on one date with little beforehand, the relationship may be looked at being just physically based.”
Anonymous “If a female had sex on the first date, I wouldn’t put her down by calling her cheap. I think there’s something deeper there, such as self-confidence issues or pain in her past caused by her family or by other men. Strong, beautiful women with self-confidence don’t need sex on the first date. If she has a healthy life, she’s probably going to wait and test out the relationship first. I think it’s “cheap” of a man to ask if a woman is “cheap” for sleeping with him on a first date.”
Anonymous“I believe if a woman has sex because she wants to and not because she feels she has to, to keep a man, then she’s not cheap”
Whatever choice you make, safety should be the top priority on that first date or whatever date. Do not indulge in sex with anyone, whose health information you do not know, or someone who is not willing to use protection, or trying to pressurise you.
On no occasion should you use sex to prove a point or as a means to make someone like you.
On no occasion should you use sex to prove a point or as a means to make someone like you. If the reason you’re having sex on the first date is to please or meet someone’s expectation, you should have it at the back of your mind that, it could lead to resentment, regret, and negativity about yourself that could affect your general sexuality.
This is just one person’s opinion, please let’s know what you think. Feel free to drop a comment.CLICK HERE TO COMMENT